<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><feed xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss' xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479708277881636613</id><updated>2011-04-21T20:41:01.999-07:00</updated><title type='text'>YOMAMA</title><subtitle type='html'></subtitle><link rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://checkyourmom.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/479708277881636613/posts/default?max-results=100'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://checkyourmom.blogspot.com/'/><link rel='hub' href='http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/'/><author><name>pickletom303</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00242135187215210953</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><generator version='7.00' uri='http://www.blogger.com'>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>2</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>100</openSearch:itemsPerPage><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479708277881636613.post-2468524008977896139</id><published>2008-04-16T06:20:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2008-04-16T06:27:20.693-07:00</updated><title type='text'></title><content type='html'>&lt;div style="text-align: center; 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&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/479708277881636613-2468524008977896139?l=checkyourmom.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://checkyourmom.blogspot.com/feeds/2468524008977896139/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=479708277881636613&amp;postID=2468524008977896139' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/479708277881636613/posts/default/2468524008977896139'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/479708277881636613/posts/default/2468524008977896139'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://checkyourmom.blogspot.com/2008/04/blog-post.html' title=''/><author><name>pickletom303</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00242135187215210953</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-479708277881636613.post-5105184965697063194</id><published>2008-04-16T06:19:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2008-04-16T06:20:12.074-07:00</updated><title type='text'>All the Yo MAMA jokes</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class="snap_preview"&gt;&lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat her nickname is “Lardo”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat were in her right now&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her…&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says “okay!”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear “Caution! Wide Turn”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read “one at a time, please”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can’t hear the stereo.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don’t do livestock.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she’s got her own area code!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagon!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat God couldn’t light Earth until she moved!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago…&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she’s got Amtrak written on her leg.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn’t pay for her liposuction!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white &amp;amp; chunky!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington’s nose.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she’s got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she’s wearin tights!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say “Taxi!”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale &amp;amp; it goes one at a time please&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can’t hear the stereo.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn’t cover her&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD’s and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington’s nose.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean…..&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, “Who threw that rock?”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn’t have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama’s like a hardware store, 10$ per screw.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was “illegitiment” because she couldn’t read&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&amp;amp;M’s in alphabetical order!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she asked you “What is the number for 911″&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put “O.K.”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid that under “Education” on her job apllication, she put “Hooked on Phonics.”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so stupid she watches “The Three Stooges” and takes notes.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Moving.”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,”DING!”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald’s and put a milkshake on layaway.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, “What ya doin’?” She said, “Buying luggage.”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor when i walked in her house and sat on her skateboard she said ” hey, don’t move my house “&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor when i came in the front lawn i was already in the backyard.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so fat, instead of giving her a ZIP code, they gave her an O-zone Layer!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so poor, when you stepped into her house and on a ciggarette, she said ” You broke my Furnace!”&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yo mama so ugly she made the onion cry.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Yooo mamaaaaa sooooooo fattt, then when she jumped up she got…… stuck.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/479708277881636613-5105184965697063194?l=checkyourmom.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://checkyourmom.blogspot.com/feeds/5105184965697063194/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=479708277881636613&amp;postID=5105184965697063194' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/479708277881636613/posts/default/5105184965697063194'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/479708277881636613/posts/default/5105184965697063194'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://checkyourmom.blogspot.com/2008/04/all-yo-mama-jokes.html' title='All the Yo MAMA jokes'/><author><name>pickletom303</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00242135187215210953</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry></feed>
